today had national day celebration.
it was really nice, but i don't seem to be enjoying.
i cried don't know how many times today.
its freaking how i can get this emotional every time.
and today I'm going to type my emotions in BLACK because i want you to see.
i didn't dare to use black ink in the past only because I'm afraid you will know.
But since i had say what i always wanted to, i got nothing to hold back on anymore.


Mr.T
I have decided not to let my sky turn grey because of you.
that sms wasn't just a confession but a decision for you to make.
& that decision shall decides how I'm going to handle my feelings.
I guess i know your answer and i know now how you really are.
Even if I cry another million times it won't change you
I finally know how insignificant I am in your heart. the words you say, you never meant. the things you do, I don't understand.
I will just treat it as whatever you do and said to me before were actions of a drunken man. Cause every time a drunken man wakes up, he forget whatever he had said before.
You have great friends, they really are.
I know they will be able to help change you.
what I can never do.
They will be able to go through the tough times with you.
what I can never achieve.
I always thought the things i said to you can make a difference.
But i realised the promises you make to me was never meant to be fulfilled.
the one i fall in love with wasn't the present you.
or maybe I didn't understand you at all.
perhaps i was the only one thinking this much.
the final decision i shall make for the both of us.
there wont be a second time for all of this.
i don't like to wait, cause i know how much it will hurt me.
i'm afraid to get hurt, i know you too.
lets just stop all of this.
i wont be able to disturb your life anymore and you wont be affecting me anymore.
i wont cry each time i know what you are doing.
i wont care what will happen to you.
i will make sure my feelings for you will fade.
and you know i meant every word i say. let this be a lesson learnt for me.
cause maybe we were never meant to be.
(: